Change of Life

  So we will get a tad personal about myself with this blog. How many of y’all suffer with anxiety? Show of hands?? Mine is straight up! Anxiety can get the best of us sometimes but we can handle it to the best of our abilities. Now it may be medication that helps us, taking a hot bath, a weighted blanket, or even a really tight hug from someone we love. I deal with different levels of anxiety at times. Sometimes I don’t even know why i am anxious and it sucks trying to explain that to someone. Lately I have had some small triggers from a previous situation I was in that set me off at times and it's hard to come out of it but I am slowly learning that I am safe now. Gypsy danger has learned my triggers and what helps me get out of my anxiety attacks. He has also learned what comforts me throughout the day to help me not go into my anxiety’s attacks. Those things he has paid attention to and learned from have helped me tremendously!  Honestly I just had an anxiety attack last night

This blog will be a little different. I have been posting about my past and how I have coped with it before and after. These next couple blogs will be more on where I am at right now with my health and a little into my mental health. I do feel it is important to talk about the past because I believe it shapes your future and present self; but I want to keep a good balance so we will talk about my present self right now. Maybe that way I can hopefully keep yall coming back to read more. So here we go! Over the week of Christmas I was admitted into the hospital because on one of my scans I had to have done, the ER doctors found a collection of something on part of my liver which wasn’t there before. Of course I was super upset to the point I was in tears because I didn’t want to spend Christmas in the hospital! I’ve already done that too many times and I felt that it was time that I get some type of break from my illness (wishful thinking right?). Plus nobody wants to spend Christmas alo

Death.. The word scares a lot of people, I mean come on it should scare me too.. But facing death for me made the word and I guess action easy for me to understand and handle as a person. Then again death at 17 years old is nothing you want to deal with but I did and matter of fact. I won and I am still winning as of today. Being part of the sick community and gaining a ton of friends who know what I am going through and understand basically every physical and mental thing I am dealing with is pretty cool. What is not cool though is when they lose their own battle.. It is hard being part of the sick community because you take a gamble with your mental health since you don’t know if they or even yourself are gonna make it to the next day at times. I have lost so many people in my life and I thought maybe it would get easier over time but it has honestly only gotten harder.  Everyone who is dealing with their own illness knows the “rate your pain on a scale from 1-10” phrase. Well I neve